Debauchery Strawberry Jam

Listening to: Slowly We Rot – Obituary

Two batches of jam and one batch of vinegar experiment, see bottom of post for details.

Strawberries are here for a few weeks, let’s make some tasty jams!

Save the tops! I’ll explain after the pics of alien-looking strawberries!

Strawberry Jam – Yields 9 half-pint jars

  • 3 lbs smashed strawberries, tops removed
  • 1 lemon, zested
  • 1/4 cup lemon juice
  • 6 Tbsp pectin, no/low sugar powdered form
  • 3 cups sugar (or 6 cups if using regular pectin)

Special Equipment: water bath canner/large stock pot with lid and rack for the bottom, jar lifter or tongs with rubber bands

0. Prepare the water bath canner, fill with enough water to cover the jars by at least 1″, bring to a boil. Put a small plate in the freezer, to check for jelling. Have the clean jars with lids and bands ready to go.

1. Combine strawberries, lemon zest, and lemon juice in a 6 qt heavy bottom saucepan or pot on high heat. This is usually when I smash the strawberries, I don’t mind if they’re a bit chunky. Add the pectin and bring to a boil, stirring frequently.

2. Dump all the sugar in and stir to combine. Bring it back to boiling. As tempting as it may be, don’t stick your finger into this molten lava. Boil hard for a minute or so. Bust out that plate you put in the freezer, drop some jam on it. Push it with your finger, if it wrinkles then it’s set. If not, put the plate back in the freezer and keep cooking the jam for another minute or two and check again. Worst case scenario your jam doesn’t set and it will be a great topping for waffles.

3. Ladle the jam into the jars, leaving 1/4″ headspace. Give them a lil rim job, place the lids and bands.

4. Process in a boiling water bath for 10 minutes. Remove the jars and let them cool. Listen for the pings, they energize you as much as this Florida death metal.

Adapted from a USDA tested and approved source.

You’ll notice the fruit chunks float to the top of the jar. If you don’t like that for some reason, you could purée the fruit instead and that would help. You could go the extra mile and strain the seeds out with a fine mesh sieve to make jelly if you wanted to. You do you, bud.

We picked a flat of strawberries and enjoyed the carnage leftover.

I am privileged to live near some great farms. Enjoy these fucked up local, organic strawberries I canned:

I shrieked when I found this chungus.
Looks kinda Aborted, doesn’t it?
There’s a surprised face on the right side if you look closely.

What’s with the container with strawberry tops?

I’m attempting to make a fruit scrap vinegar with the tops. You know how you can find those boutique fruit vinegars and they’re expensive as hell? I’m trying to make some of that. This is essentially a low-cost and zero waste way to do that. The tops have a bit of fruit on them, and as long as there aren’t any moldy pieces, it should work.

I cut the tops off of 4 flats of strawberries and added them to my 4 qt container. I added water and 1/4 c sugar, and covered it with a piece of cloth and a rubber band. I’m going to keep an eye on this and stir it every day for a week or so until the water turns a bit dark. If it gets moldy I’ll pitch it, but if it doesn’t I’m going to strain it and let the mixture acidify for a month or two. Eventually it will form a scum layer that is known as a “mother of vinegar”, like the kind you see at the bottom of Bragg’s unfiltered apple cider vinegar. It’s different from a kombucha SCOBY, but kind of the same concept.

I’ll update either way. I’m hoping to make some strawberry vinegar to use as a base for salad dressing and for mixed drinks.

Pardon my basic bitch Snapchat photo, but I wanted to show you the comical amount of strawberries I processed. I ended up freezing most of them to process at a later date, more posts to follow.

Some Images From a Wholesome Outing to Pick Fruit

Picking berries is a nice activity, even for your local misanthropes.