Listening to: Death Atlas- Cattle Decapitation , or alternatively, you could listen to whatever the fuck makes you happy right now
‘Sup fuckers! Uncertain times call for usual coping mechanisms, which includes my grand return to my cute little blog I forget I have, with the rant at the end if you care to read it. Here’s a recipe for some oatmeal I bring to work so I have something low-cost to munch on. Fuck those disgusting little flavor packets, you can make your own with a lot less packaging and minimal effort.
Emergency Oatmeal- Yields about 3-4 servings depending on how many feelings you’re dealing with
- 2 cups quick oats (from a 25# bag you keep for these occasions)
- 1/4 c brown sugar
- 1/2 t cinammon
- 1/2 t nutmeg
- 1/4 t cloves
- Optional: raisins or other fruit fruit if that’s your thing
0. If you don’t have brown sugar, it’s easy to make if you happen to have molasses and white sugar: mix about a cup of white sugar with a few tablespoons of molasses until it’s the darkness you’re used to (the brown sugar, not your inner demons).
1. Mix all the ingredient together. Note that I don’t actually measure my spices, I just give a shake-shake until it looks like enough. Add more oatmeal if you manage to fuck it up.
2. Shake some of the oatmeal mix into your microwave-safe bowl and cover it with water so it’s soaked but not a huge soup, ya dig? Blast it for maybe 99 seconds, keeping an eye on it to make sure it doesn’t explode. Alternatively, you could do this on the stovetop and cook for longer, but that’s another dish and more time.
Okay, so the past few weeks have been crazy. Many of you don’t have an open workplace to bring your frugal oatmeal to anymore. Everyone is adjusting to a new normal these days and it’s hard. Cattle Decapitation really started something when they busted out their single “Bring Back The Plague”. If you sing the refrain, using your most creative interpretations of Travis’ vocals and controlling your timing, it’s almost 20 seconds long to wash your hands to.
If you can, buy some merch from your favorite bands so they can stay afloat while they’re having to postpone or cancel their tours. This is a great time to work on your battle jacket. Do your best Chopped (in Half) meal plans getting creative what you might have left in your pantry. I know you like to feel evil, but you probably have a backlog of bathbombs, special soap, or whatever you’ve been saving for “the special time”. This is the special time. Look better than you feel. Master your wingged eyes for your corpsepaint. I believe in you douchebags, okay? <3