Chopping Block Vegetable Stock

WFMH

Listening to: By The Light of the Northen Star- Týr

No two batches will look or taste the same. 

Vegetable stock is a staple in any pantry. This is made for pennies, unless you monetize your time like a capitalist pig. Save your vegetable scraps in ziplock bags in the freezer until you have enough to fill the stock pot, simmer, strain, can. No two batches will taste the same.

Do not water bath this recipe, non-acidic products need to be pressure canned. This holds up well in the freezer if canning is not an option for you. 

Scrap Vegetable Stock- Yields 6 qts

  • 3-5 ziplock bags of veggie scraps
  • salt to taste
    Special equipment: Large stock pot, Pressure Canner (or lots of pint containers for the freezer), sieve or strainer

0. Have the foresight to save your vegetable scraps from your regular cooking activities. Washed and not-moldy: potato peels, onion/garlic papers and butts, carrot peels and butts, celery butts, discarded bay leaves, etc.; basically anything that would normally be a candidate for the compost pile. I don’t add squishy veggies like tomatoes and try to limit the amount of cruciferous veggies that end up in the bags. Depending on what is in your scrap bags, add some bay leaves or peppercorns. 
1. Dump the ziplock bags into the large stock pot and fill with water. Bring to a boil with lid closed, as this helps it heat up faster. Bring the heat down to a simmer for 4-6 hrs. 
2. Strain the stock, using a fine-mesh sieve or strainer. Most importantly, get the big chunks out of the stock, if you want it more clear don’t push the excess liquid out of the veggies. There will be some sediment, but that shit is delicious, don’t worry about it. Discard the cadavers of the vegetables. I wash and reuse the ziplocks and store them in the freezer for future batches, I’m a bit crunchy like that.  You may reduce the stock further by simmering for another hour or so, but do not add more water to dilute it. It’s wonderful as it is and so are you <3.
3. Salt the stock. This is important, folks. The stock is *okay* on its own, but it needs a bit of salt. Start with 1/4 cup for 6 qts of stock and go from there. You don’t want to go overboard here because when you open the jar or defrost the stock for cooking with it, you want it as neutral as possible. 
4. Store the stock: 
a) Portion the stock into food-grade pint containers and let cool for a little while before putting the lids on and placing them in the freezer. Stores well for up to a year.
Pro: No canning required. Con: Plastic container, defrosting required, and takes up freezer space.
b) Prepare pressure canner per your manual, in the last 1/2 hour of cooking the stock before straining. Pour broth in sterilized jars leaving 1 in headspace. The top left jar has just a little bit too much space. Process at 11lbs psi at altitudes less than 1000′: Pints 30 min, Quarts 35 min. Let the canner de-pressurize on it’s own, do not attempt to open it or “help it” go faster. This could break the glass. Listen to the sound of your people, those lids popping is your ultimate goal. Store for up to a year, but I bet it won’t last that long. 
Pro: Shelf stable, no need for defrosting. Con: Must be kept in cool, dark place for maximum shelf life, requires pressure canning which is not feasible/accessible for everyone.

Use within a week or so of opening the container. Boil grains in it instead of water, add to one-pot dishes for flavor, make a gravy, you’ve got a brain to Google what else to do with it.

This is the well-versed cook’s secret to making any dish better. A good stock will make even the congealed brains of your enemies taste pretty good.

I started making veggie scrap stock after reading a post on Reddit. I have always made chicken stock, but I don’t go through carcasses \m/ often enough to make it frequently. I have always used fresh vegetables, which is a perfectly valid way to make flavorful stock, but I realized how much life is left in the scraps when other people mentioned this method. I cook nearly everything from scratch, so most of my household waste is compostable. Unfortunately we don’t have commercial composting services here and I live in a condo where I don’t really have space or a yard to take care of it, so I do what I can to reuse the scraps once before discarding them.

Living a lower waste lifestyle has been crucial in my personal development over the past year. Rethinking what we throw away, looking at alternatives to individually wrapped everything and packaging in general has developed my home cooking into more labor intensive, but more fulfilling food. The more you cook from scratch, more fuel for your veggie stock! Chicken stock will be a separate post because I have a different method for that. 

Finally a post without a shitload of sugar. Diabetes isn’t metal. 

Grape Jelly

WFMH

Listening to: Surgical Steel – Carcass

Find a vineyard to pillage to make some condiments for your morning toast.


Grape Jelly- Yields eight 1/2 pint jars

  • 5 lbs grapes, green or red, make sure they’re good
    OR 5 cups of grape juice (fuck Welch’s, get the flavorful organic bullshit). I’m gonna assume you’re using fresh grapes, learn a little bit ya dig?
  • 7 cups of sugar (less if you use the no-sugar pectin)
  • 1 package of Sure Jell pectin, regular or reduced sugar. Keep a second package on hand in case your jelly doesn’t set in the allotted time.
    Special equipment: sieve or jelly bag, heavy bottom stock pot, stock pot or water bath canner

0. Get the water bath ready: Fill the stock pot or canner with enough water to cover the tops of the half pint jars with at least 1 in of water.
1. Prepare the grape juice: a) Pick the grapes from the stem. If there are little pieces left, that’s okay because they’ll be strained out later. b) Mash the grapes in the heavy bottomed stock pot with the blunt end of your favorite battle axe. Add a little water to cover the grapes and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to a simmer for about 20 minutes. This softens the skins to release more juice. c) Strain with a sieve or jelly bag. Get something to catch the juice, even better if it holds the strainer by itself. Mush most of the juice out, but don’t go crazy. Discard the leftover solids, throw them at an ex or neighbor you don’t like. Wash out that stock pot you just used, you’re about to use it again.
2. You should have about 5 cups of fruit blood, any more and you’ll have to scale up the amount of pectin and sugar you use. Not my problem bud, figure that out yourself. Bring the juice to a boil and add the pectin, mix that for a few minutes. 
3. Add all of the sugar to the pot and bring it to a hard boil. It should look like the most barbarous mosh pit of your life. Cook for about 5 minutes, carefully use a rubber spatula to scrape the bottom and sides to prevent any scorching. It should start jelling at this point,keep a metal \m/ spoon in the freezer in little dish of water to see if it sticks to the spoon. If not, add more pectin, or accept that you’ll have grape pancake syrup. Skim the foam off. It won’t hurt anyone to keep it on, but if you’re doing all this work, might as well do it right. It’s not A E S T H E T I C to open a jelly jar with foam. 
4. Ladle the hot jelly into the clean jars, leaving 1/4 in headroom. Give them a quick rim job before placing the two part lids on, securing them finger tight. Process in the boiling water bath for 10 minutes. Listen to the song of the lids popping, it’s your new anthem. Store with the rings off in a temperate, dark spot. 

Adapted from a tested and USDA approved source

I have never had grape juice or grape jelly that I enjoyed until I finished this recipe. I’m thinking more and more of either jury rigging or buying a steam juicer for next year, so I can make all sorts of juice and expand my scope of projects.

My jelly didn’t set until the next day when th jar were all the way cool, but I should have kept more pectin on hand for times like these. I was willing to accept grape waffle spread, and not the perfect jelly texture. I live a charmed life, I picked my grapes for free from my day job so I wasn’t too worried overall about wasting money on this project. I was also ever-so-slightly blazed and kept focusing on Jeff Walker’s tasty jams, not on the jelly.

Pictures don’t do the color of this grape juice justice. This was one of the best homemade items I’ve made to date.

Seriously though, try this out. Find some nice grape juice or go the whole nine yards with making the juice and make yourself some jelly. Gotta have something to eat before your photo shoot in the woods with your favorite black metal buddies, right?

Don’t Wince at Quince, Pt. 2

WFMH

Listening to: Terminal- Bongripper

Last time we had a look at quinces, and made some jelly. Maybe you don’t have all the equipment, time, space, balls, or patience to deal with that. I get it. My feelings aren’t hurt. You can still enjoy this gnarly fruit ovary even if you’re a lazy butt. This is easy as shit to make: chop fruit, make syrup, boil. Read the recipe, though. 

Quince Pieces in Light Syrup- Yields 9 pint jars

  • 11 lbs quince, washed and de-fuzzed.
  • 2 cups sugar
    Special Equipment: Large pot, large stock pot or water bath canner.

0. Prepare the water bath canner or large stock pot with a rock on the bottom to prevent the jars from having direct contact with the heat source. Add enough water to cover the jars plus one inch. 
1. Prepare the light syrup in the large pot: add the sugar and 6 cups (1.5 qts for your math challenged ass) and bring to a boil. You could make medium or heavy syrup or even nice fancy organic fruit juice to pack the fruit in, but Dio’s unholy spirit (RIP) told me directly that quince is better in light syrup. 
2. Peel the quince. This is a bitch and a half because the fruit is so damn dry and stupid shaped, but hang in there. Slice those suckers in half and scoop out the core with a metal \m/ spoon. Cut that into slices however thick you want, I prefer them about 1/4 in. Keep these in a bowl of water with a bit of lemon juice to prevent them from browning while you finish your task.
3. Hot pack the quince: Drain the quince slices, and add them to the boiling light syrup, cook them for about 4-5 minutes. It’s handy to use a jar funnel to shove the slices in the jars when they’re done cooking, pack them tight. If you think you have too much for the nine jars, you’re probably not packing them tight enough. 
4. Ladle the hot syrup into each jar, leaving 1/2 in headroom. Use a small rubber spatula or butter knife down the sides of the jar to get air bubbles out. At this point you’ll find you can probably cram more fruit into the jars and add more syrup, minding the headroom.
5. Place the two piece lid on, and set those jars in the water bath. Boil for 20 minutes.  Alternatively you could pressure can these at 6 psi for 10 minutes. 
6. Remove from the canner and listen for the beautiful sound of the lids popping. The color might have changed during processing, I generally get pink hues. That’s perfectly fine and normal.

Adapted from a tested and USDA approved source .

You saw this last time, now you know what both are.

I hope you like sliced quinces in light syrup because you now have a metric dick ton of them. “BuT wHaT dO I dO wItH ThEm??”, you might ask yourself. You could arrange the pieces in a tart or pie, have some with roasted pork, top some ice cream, sacrifice some to your favorite fallen metal hero, or maybe you could fucking Google it.

Like I mentioned, I prefer light syrup to juice or heavier syrups, because I have more flexibility when I’ll eventually open up the jars. Some people pack their fruit in water, which is technically okay, but it steals the sweetness of the fruit and generally sucks to eat. If you’re concerned about calories, use the pickyourown.org link above to find out how to convert Stevia or other kinds of sweeteners for the syrup.

No more talking, Bongripper is on. Feel the devastation run through you and report back with how you did.

Don’t Wince at Quince

WFMH

Listening to: Ashes Against the Grain- Agalloch

Quinces are apples’ and pears’ hideous cousin. They’re the strange “old world” fruit that’s so awful raw you’ll spit it out no matter how metal you are. Cook them for even a few minutes and you’ll unlock their delicate flavor for use in savory or sweet dishes.

Quince Jelly- Yields eight 1/2 pint jelly jars

  • 7 lbs quince, stem and flower side discarded, chopped into small cubes. Do not peel or core, or Satan will not bless you with the glorious pectin locked within.
  • 1/2 cup lemon juice, store-bought to maintain known pH levels. Heresy, I know.
  • 6 cups sugar
    Special Equipment: Heavy bottomed stock pot, sieve or food mill, large stock pot with rack for water bath. Optional: Candy thermometer
  1.  Prepare water bath: Fill large stock pot with a rack placed on the bottom, fill with water until it covers the top of the jelly jars by at least 1 inch. The rack is to prevent the jars from having direct contact from the heat source to avoid cracking. Get that sucker to a rolling boil.
  2. Prepare quince juice: Fill the heavy bottomed stock pot  with quince, add 14 cups of water (that’s 3.5 qts for your math challenged ass). Bring to a boil and let that shit simmer for 25 minutes. Smash that through a fine mesh sieve or a food mill if you have one. Don’t have either one? Shit outta luck, you filthy casual. You should have about 7.5 cups of this liquid gold. Any more and you’ve got to sacrifice it to your favorite fallen metal hero. Clean out that stock pot, you’re about to use it again.
  3. Add 7.5 cups of the quince juice, lemon juice, and sugar and bring it to a boil. This needs to come up to 220ºF for it to set all the way. If you don’t have a candy thermometer keep a plate in the freezer before starting this recipe and once it’s boiling drop some of the jelly on the plate, if it wrinkles when you push your finger through it’s ready to go. You did read the recipe all the way through before starting, right?
  4. Remove jelly from heat. Skim foam into a side container for snacks. Pour into sterile jars while the jelly is piping hot, leaving 1/4 in headspace from th top of the jar. Wipe the top of the jars clean and place the two piece lid on, finger tight. Don’t force it. 
  5. Place in boiling water bath with rubber-ended tongs or a jar lifter if you’re bougie like that. Process with the lid on for 5 minutes, clear a space for them to come out  with a towel. Take the jars out, hear the beautiful noise of the popping lids one by one. This sound is as beautiful as Kirk Hammett’s sexual solos on Ride the Lightning, savor it. 

Adapted from a tested and USDA approved source. Canning is an exact science, unlike regular cooking and must be followed exactly. You could add dry spices in there if you wanted to, but the jelly really doesn’t need it. Don’t fuck with the ratios of anything else. Know the rules (and science) behind canning before you break them. 

Fuck, quince jelly is so fucking good. Kinda makes you wanna ride a nimbus cloud into the gates of Valhalla. Coming soon is a Pt. 2 to this post to make the slices in light syrup, pictured left above.

When I think of quinces, I think of my friend Mallory from the restaurant who would poach slices in champagne to serve with a bread pudding. I had only tasted quinces in membrillo form. These fugly fruits light up my life and are a pleasure to process in the early fall. These grew in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle from a friend’s tree. Though many rotted before I had a chance to use them, I was able to process about 50lbs of quince this year. 

Today is the 2 year anniversary of my lung surgery and the official launch of this blog. Two years ago, I couldn’t imagine the life I have now, my future looked bleak. It was a traumatic time in my life I didn’t think I could pull myself out of. I could barely put away the laundry without losing my breath, let alone lifting full stock pots, moving quickly about the kitchen and leading a moderately active lifestyle. I’m grateful for everyone who had helped me along the way: understanding bosses who held my job for 2.5 months while I was gone, my parents who helped take care of me and my cats, my husband whose patience knows no end, and friends who kept my spirits up in a dark time of my life. These days I don’t worry so much about my breathing, but more about when my oven is going to arrive on time and what I want to can next. 

I hope you enjoyed this post and have a chance to try these grotesquely shaped, fuzzy friends soon. Let me know how your batch turned out! 

Welcome to Well Fed Metalhead

WFMH

Listening to: Nordland I- Bathory 

Greetings, viewer. This is the Well Fed Metalhead. I am a Washingtonian who enjoys cooking, canning, and most importantly, heavy metal of all flavors and styles.

My style of cooking is generally pretty simple with as many homemade elements as possible. My influences are Jacques Pépin, Julia Child, Anthony Bourdain, Ted Allen,  my grandmas Renée and Shirley, my dad Charlie, and all of my crew at Purple Café and Wine Bar, where I used to work. I have learned so much form each and every individual I worked with, for better or or worse. 

This is mainly a spot for me to find the recipes I’ve made. Almost all of my canning projects are done by the USDA guidelines and will have links to the recipes, I just want to type them out in a fun way so I can refer back to them. 

I’m making a promise to myself to keep the blah blah blah short so no one needs to scroll through thousands of words about my mundane existence to get to the recipes, talking directly to you boring-ass mommy bloggers.